jean shorts in the pool?

Beware the guy that does not know how to follow directions, even loosely. Let me tell you why...

I met *Travis* on a popular online dating website. His emails, texts and phone calls had me in stitches he was so funny! We also had some very real, grown up talks and he even told me he had a child with his ex wife and a few experiences of his while serving in Iraq. I felt truly at ease with him, so much so that I suggested he join me and a few friends of mine that were having a pool party. I figured Travis would fit in perfectly, what could go wrong? 

He was game when I told him about the pool party and that we'd probably be in the water most of the afternoon (pool pong anyone?!) so don't forget to bring his swim suit and towel. I had a picture of him, blond hair with hat on backwards, slight smile so I knew what he looked like. I told him to pick me up at 12:30pm, party started at 1:00pm.  He showed up 20 minutes late with no towel, no swim trunks. He said he'd swim in his jean shorts. Did I just hallucinate? Guys, even I know that's not comfortable! I put on my famous sorority smile and we drove to Target where I made him purchase a low cost pair of trunks. Late to the party, I shook off the rocky first impression with some homemade punch and we proceeded to have a great time in the afternoon sun, with "CANNON BALL!" announced every 10 minutes to see who's splash was bigger.

I knew he had a few tattoo's but in the pool you're practically naked, hence the ink I saw was more than just a few. More like leg, small sleeve, back and chest. I don't care too much about tattoos, I've got one myself but it just took me by surprise, his idea of a "few". Another surprise, he was missing a front tooth of which I didn't see because he was only "slightly smiling" in his picture, lips closed. Turns out he was in a fight 2 years prior and it got knocked out. He hadn't been able to find the time to get it fixed. Really? 2 years and you're all booked up? OK I'm shallow, I know.

With the punch flowing, pool pong in full force, around 3pm I looked around and noticed Travis was missing.  I went into the house, maybe he was in the kitchen? Bathroom? No sign of him. Odd, I went to the guest room to grab something from my bag and bingo! Legs and arms sprawled out, face down into the bed, he is passed out and snoring. I tried waking him to see if he was OK, no luck, just how much punch had he drank? A first for me, what do you do when your date falls asleep on  you?  Back to the pool with a fresh punch glass and let him sleep it off.

He woke back up around midnight and didn't offer me a ride home. I spent the night, embarrassed as all hell that I'd misread the situation so far off the map. Reports from my friends elaborated on his ex wife, she apparently was a drug addict, thus the cause for divorce. I felt bad for the guy but lets just say we parted ways after that night with a "It was great to meet you" conversation and no second date occurred. Honestly, he was asleep longer than he was awake, how could it not be awkward from this point on? 

For those friends of mine that are reading this and were there that night, I know you're still laughing lol