Contributed by guest Blogger and fellow hottie, Ashley M. His name is Mike, he is 37 (keep this in mind as you read, makes it even more awkward)! Enjoy!
We finalized plans to go out on Wednesday, July 27th. He offered to come my way since I have a much longer drive to and from work. Very nice of him to offer, you are correct. As I do, I recommended we meet at 7:22. He found the humor in the exact time, and said he may not be able to get there until 7:23, but he would try. So at 7:15 that night, I get a message that he left AVON LAKE a couple of minutes ago and he won’t be there on time because he is stuck in traffic.
MY THOUGHT: “Well sure, traffic will make you late, but giving yourself about 7 minutes to get from AVON LAKE to STRONGSVILLE is the reason you are going to be late.” *Fact check: it takes roughly 30 minutes to drive this distance without traffic.
While I waited 15 minutes for a table at B Spot, I took my seat and sucked down two Pepsi with Grenadine. Hey! There is Michael, and it’s only 7:56pm, only late by 34 minutes. So the slight irritation begins, but that’s OK.
Then the waiter approaches...
Waiter: “What can I get you to drink?”
Mike: “Good to see you my man. Thank you.” (FIST BUMP – that caught the waiter off guard and initially the waiter just looked at Mike’s hand confused trying to figure out if Mike was trying to show him something. Finally the waiter realizes what is going on and fist bumps him back. While I giggle uncomfortable.)
Waiter: “Something to drink?”
Mike: “You pick. Give me a brewski of your choosing.”
Waiter: “I can’t really do that, in case you don’t like it.”
Mike: “Just bring me your favorite.”
Waiter: “Do you like dark beer or light?”
Mike: “Whatever is fine.”
MY THOUGHTS: “Order a FREAKING (replace with a different word) Beer.”
Waiter returns with drink. Mike gives him another FREAKING fist bump.
Waiter: “What can I get you to eat?”
I order
Waiter: “And for you?”
Mike: “Whatever is fine.”
Waiter: “I’m sorry?”
Mike: “You pick.”
Waiter: “Well can I have a hint. Do you want a burger?”
Mike: “Sure.”
Waiter: “How would you like it cooked?”
Mike: “You tell me.”
Waiter: “Will medium work?”
Mike: “Is that how you would eat it?”
Waiter: “Yes.”
Mike: “Then sure. Medium.”
When the check comes, Mike leaves a pile of money on the table and goes to the bathroom.
Waiter: "Can I take this for you?"
Me: “I’m actually not sure.”
Waiter: “Ok, I will come back.”
Mike returns from the bathroom
Me: “The waiter and I weren’t sure if that was ready to go or not.”
Mike: “Yep.”
Waiter comes
Waiter: “Can I take this for you?”
Mike: “Yep, take it all. Just take this money and go to Vegas. Go don’t pay them for our food. Just take this money and go spend it on whatever you want. Take it to Vegas, play some blackjack. Double your money. Then come back. Just go do your thing man.” FIST BUMP
At this point my face hurts from my uncomfortable giggling.
Waiter: "Do you need your receipt?"
Mike: "My what?"
Waiter: "Your receipt?"
The waiter points to the black receipt holder on the table
Mike picks it up and begins to hand it to him then takes it back.
Mike: "This?"
Waiter: "Yes. Your receipt is in there."
Mike: "My receipt."
Waiter: "Yes, do you need your receipt?"
Mike: "Nope."
Waiter: "OK then I will take that for you."
Mike: "You are taking my receipt?"
Waiter: "Do you want your receipt?"
Mike: "No."
Waiter: "Then yes, I am taking it."
Mike: "The whole thing."
Waiter: "Yes."
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Hopeful Girl's commentary: Is he drunk? Is he high? Did he think that receipts and the cash for meals just magically disappear by small leprechauns instead of the waiter that brought his food? Did he fist pump it out with Ashley that night instead of a kiss and hug in the parking lot? Is he going to invite the waiter on a weekend getaway to Vegas? Is he the new Jersey Shore's version of The Fonz? Theres just so many possibilities here! Thank you to Ashley for not only braving this awkward evening but taking the next step to admitting it happened. On behalf of all women out there who've been on a date with this guy's identical twin, we feel for you girl!!
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