A recent chat with a fellow optimist brought to our attention a theory, although probably based on a foundation of one too many sips from the inspiration pool, it made good sense that in order to really put this theory to the test, it should be shared with the cosmos. The theory, what if, instead of going through the song and dance of dating, making sure we always appear cool, calm and collected, using our best behavior and most seductive perfume or cologne, what if all our first dates were more realistic? What I mean by this is, instead of going out to coffee or sushi and impressing the guy or gal with your extensive knowledge of red wines of Spain, what if first dates took place on the couch of your place, in front of the television over a bowl of cereal and your hair up in bun, his still hasn't been combed since the day before?
For heavensake, don't think I'm crazy here, its a valid theory right? What if the 2 step dance we do when we're dating no longer was a dance full of questions, maybes, speculations, etc and you stepped outside the box on a first date? I'd be willing to give this theory a try and wear my pj bottoms, flip flops and tank top to grab coffee at Starbucks at 7am on a date if I thought being the real me was a good idea right off the bat. I mean lets be serious, I am gorgeous but this kind of effortlessly beautiful look takes a lot of work, especially at 7am to grab coffee! lol, What if I hit it off with my dream man this way, rather than being on my best behavior in the beginning? That way he's not shocked when somewhere down the line, when we move in together and he realizes that yes, it takes me a few days to get to the dishes in my sink and yes, laundry will sit dirty in the hamper for almost 2 weeks before I consider touching it.
Campers, lets put it all out there, strip away those social boundaries that I know I'm pushing, but lets stop and think about the logistics. Your first date with your guy or girl, you were nervous, probably went through 8 wardrobe changes (yes even men do the same thing!) and worried that you picked the wrong ideal-first-date location and when it came time for the actual date, wanted to ensure a 2nd date so you were both on your best behavior, pretending you liked the movie or really enjoyed the concert when you're really thinking "I wonder what my buddy Ryan is doing on his X-box. I can't wait to log on and check out his score v. mine". Ladies, the same thing, I'm sure that spicy tuna roll wasn't what you'd rather have had for dinner but you were brought up with manners and tried it anyways...secretly wishing that you'd put your foot down and ordered a safer Philadelphia sushi roll.
We do this silly dance of pretending to be on our best behaviors early on when dating someone new. Sometimes when it doesn't work out, someone or both are disappointed because he's more comfortable in front of the x-box in his tightie whities. Yes guys, she will go to bed with cold cream on her face---meaning no midnight nookie because she needs to marinade overnight for that gorgeous effortless glow in the a.m. So why put the pretense out there and do this dance?
Why not on your next first date with someone new, be silly and suggest meeting for coffee in your pj's at Starbucks (they won't care what you wear as long as you're fully clothed) and just relax and have a good time? I double dog dare the ladies to not change their outfit 8 times and wear on your first date what you'd wear shopping with one of your girlfriends at the mall...after a big lunch (ladies, you know exactly what I'm talking about!) Guys, do us ladies a favor, and man up, if you start the dating relationship by opening doors, then make sure you do that forever for your lady. Don't do it just until you've hooked her, then let up on the mystery and slink back into your video gaming Saturday afternoons after a few weeks. We all need our downtime and don't get me wrong, I am a huge fan of good hygiene habits and cleaning up once in awhile but what could it hurt to start a relationship almost in the middle and see if that makes a difference in how the relationship works out? Couldn't be any worse than the pretending at the beginning that you always have perfect lipstick applied or don't fart after a 16oz beer....lets get real and see where it leads!
My challenge to all of you optimists out there or maybe just the dare devils, your next first date with someone, consider putting this theory to work and then let me know how you fared in the situation, I want to know if this extremely insane but possibly genious theory fares. Plus consider this...if your first date works out into a 2nd, 3rd, etc, maybe you've just cracked the code on your perfect soul mate and they really DO like you for who you are: beer farts, tightie whities and cold cream! :)
For heavensake, don't think I'm crazy here, its a valid theory right? What if the 2 step dance we do when we're dating no longer was a dance full of questions, maybes, speculations, etc and you stepped outside the box on a first date? I'd be willing to give this theory a try and wear my pj bottoms, flip flops and tank top to grab coffee at Starbucks at 7am on a date if I thought being the real me was a good idea right off the bat. I mean lets be serious, I am gorgeous but this kind of effortlessly beautiful look takes a lot of work, especially at 7am to grab coffee! lol, What if I hit it off with my dream man this way, rather than being on my best behavior in the beginning? That way he's not shocked when somewhere down the line, when we move in together and he realizes that yes, it takes me a few days to get to the dishes in my sink and yes, laundry will sit dirty in the hamper for almost 2 weeks before I consider touching it.
Campers, lets put it all out there, strip away those social boundaries that I know I'm pushing, but lets stop and think about the logistics. Your first date with your guy or girl, you were nervous, probably went through 8 wardrobe changes (yes even men do the same thing!) and worried that you picked the wrong ideal-first-date location and when it came time for the actual date, wanted to ensure a 2nd date so you were both on your best behavior, pretending you liked the movie or really enjoyed the concert when you're really thinking "I wonder what my buddy Ryan is doing on his X-box. I can't wait to log on and check out his score v. mine". Ladies, the same thing, I'm sure that spicy tuna roll wasn't what you'd rather have had for dinner but you were brought up with manners and tried it anyways...secretly wishing that you'd put your foot down and ordered a safer Philadelphia sushi roll.
We do this silly dance of pretending to be on our best behaviors early on when dating someone new. Sometimes when it doesn't work out, someone or both are disappointed because he's more comfortable in front of the x-box in his tightie whities. Yes guys, she will go to bed with cold cream on her face---meaning no midnight nookie because she needs to marinade overnight for that gorgeous effortless glow in the a.m. So why put the pretense out there and do this dance?
Why not on your next first date with someone new, be silly and suggest meeting for coffee in your pj's at Starbucks (they won't care what you wear as long as you're fully clothed) and just relax and have a good time? I double dog dare the ladies to not change their outfit 8 times and wear on your first date what you'd wear shopping with one of your girlfriends at the mall...after a big lunch (ladies, you know exactly what I'm talking about!) Guys, do us ladies a favor, and man up, if you start the dating relationship by opening doors, then make sure you do that forever for your lady. Don't do it just until you've hooked her, then let up on the mystery and slink back into your video gaming Saturday afternoons after a few weeks. We all need our downtime and don't get me wrong, I am a huge fan of good hygiene habits and cleaning up once in awhile but what could it hurt to start a relationship almost in the middle and see if that makes a difference in how the relationship works out? Couldn't be any worse than the pretending at the beginning that you always have perfect lipstick applied or don't fart after a 16oz beer....lets get real and see where it leads!
My challenge to all of you optimists out there or maybe just the dare devils, your next first date with someone, consider putting this theory to work and then let me know how you fared in the situation, I want to know if this extremely insane but possibly genious theory fares. Plus consider this...if your first date works out into a 2nd, 3rd, etc, maybe you've just cracked the code on your perfect soul mate and they really DO like you for who you are: beer farts, tightie whities and cold cream! :)
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