GroundHog Day Ray

It happens, sometimes you cruise through these dating websites and many people are on more than just one to increase their odds of finding true love...so sometimes its likely you see the same people over and over again. Maybe you chat with one guy on dating website #1 and forget and start up a chat with him a few months later on website #2 because you remember seeing him but maybe the conversation died out or one of you lost interest or just plain forgot. While reintroducing yourself...maybe the same conversation repeats itself too. Its to be expected right?

How about when you're on a hot streak and you're carrying on conversations with more than one person? Yeah yeah yeah, don't judge...you all know if you've been out there dating that at times theres more than one you're trying on for size, either chatting or having dinner with, whatever floats your boat. I'm not very good at juggling multitudes of men and honestly I try to only talk to one at a time so they are getting 100% of my attention. I figure its only fair right? So when I see the tail-tell signs that theres a guy who is juggling, their behavior is pretty true to the following: asking the same questions over and over, forgetting we discussed a topic that's pretty unique and re-initiating it, take a really long time to answer a simple question either via text or chat, or if they are talking to you and asks a question that is clearly on your profile you gotta wonder "did he just look at my pictures and not read the content?" I got one for ya...Meet Ray.

Ray initiated a chat and it started out pretty simple, apparently he's quite athletic, hails from the Midwest in a small town and we begin with the normal how-do-you-do's. After a few days I noticed he kept firing questions at me like we were in an interview or he was getting these questions off of some "topic/discussion" list. Whats your favorite food? Whats your favorite movie? If you could have one thing in the world what would it be? On and on and on. Of course these questions did the trick, we would have conversations from each question but then it became a little weird because the conversation about my favorite food crept up again. If you know me...its vodka tonic which yes technically is not a food item but if it comes with a lime doesn't that count? So when he asked me yet again, what my favorite food was and I thought my answer was pretty unique to warrant that it'd stick in his mind. Nope.

Then he asked me what kind of clothes I like to wear...more and more random questions so a flag is starting to come up here. Great, another guy who is creepster and compiling some kind of file on me and my likes and dislikes. Great, just great. So I told him a very vague "I dress for the weather, its Arizona". A few days later, asks me the exact same question again and I decide to call him on it.

Me: "You must be talking to quite a few girls because you asked me that already."

Ray: "I used to play football back in high school and college and I got hit in the head alot, sorry".

OK I feel like a jerk but at the same time it does clear up why I keep having the same conversations with the guy and why, before moving to Arizona, was living with his parents still. He needs supervision and something tells me he went onto a dating website to find a local replacement to what he had back home. A very smart move on his part but at the same time, really? I don't want to be a caregiver, I want to date someone and hopefully have a 50/50 relationship. I would have to worry about him getting from place to place, interacting with others, etc. Too stressful in my opinion. I feel bad for the guy but its just not the right way to go about finding your other half. So I try to turn the conversation around, jerk that I am...

Me: "So where did you go to college?"

Ray: "John Carroll"

Me: "Where is that?"

Ray: "Its a university"

Me: "Sorry, what I meant to ask was where is it located geographically?"

another exchange:

Ray: "So whats your ethnicity?"

Me: "Sorry? What do you mean?"

Ray: "What do you look like?"

Me: "Pretty sure the photos on my profile are a good indication. Did you have a chance to look at them?" **Side note, I know you can't look at someone and say they are a certain ethnicity or background but I'm pretty sure I'd never be mistaken for any other group other than Caucasian.

My suggestion is if you get a bad feeling like the person you're talking to isn't remembering alot of what you're saying call them out on it. Either they are juggling too many other potential mates that they can't keep you straight from the rest of the pack or they might have a head injury. Either way, don't dance around it cause it'll get awkward real fast if you do and theres no turning back.

*Ray's real name was changed to protect his own identity although I'm not sure he'd realize it was him I was writing about if he stumbled across this blog.

Kisses and a Waggly Tail

August is almost over and with it, another chapter on summer love has come to a close. Summers in Arizona mean short shorts, scant tank tops (both guys and gals), flip flops and running from one patch of shade to the next for fear you'd burst into flames if your skin was touched by the afternoon sun. Its only 113 today...no big deal right?  Summers also mean that its easy to get light headed if you don't drink enough water, I think I may have gotten a little light headed....

6'4", dark brown hair and handsome *Chris rolled into my universe looking like Ben Affleck with the sweetness of candy all in one. New to the valley, divorced (I checked, it was officially decreed), no kids, employed, no record, has a roommate, non-smoker but social drinker and he fosters with a boxer rescue (hello? so sweet!) Our first date was at the dog park and it couldn't have gone more ridiculous. First, I ended up parking on the absolutely opposite side of the park than where I was supposed to. I was walking around in the dark, alone but on the phone with him until he came and met me halfway.  His foster dog was at first uninterested in me because I didn't have a ball, Frisbee or treat. We finally make it into the dog run area and there were so many people and their dogs running around willy nilly! I loved it! Lots of sniffing, chasing around, wrasslin' and such...not much different than your average night at the bar for people right?  We find ourselves having a good time, talking, getting to know each other, things are going well until...We were talking to the owner of a beautiful mastiff and if you know, these are big, slow moving dogs but gorgeous! A black dog comes up to join the conversation and sniff the mastiff. Dissatisfied with the mastiff, he comes over to me and I start to give loves. I was well trained by Annie, a friend's dog very well in giving scritches.  She'd have me giving her loves and I wouldn't know I was doing it conscientiously until 5-10 mins later lol. The mastiff, he is slow but interested in knowing the black dog more and moves towards us. Black dog, feeling threatened, decides to make sure that all other dogs know that I belong to him now. A warm, wet sensation starts from my knee down into my sneakers. Yup, he peed on me! This can go one of two ways, freak out or get cleaned up...I chose to excuse myself quickly and go rinse my jeans off by the doggie fountain. Chris had no idea what happened but the mastiff's owner saw it all and played it cool. Awesome first impression! lol

Oddly enough he couldn't wait to see me again so the next night Chris and I went for happy hour and a walk around the canal. He's a great kisser! Said that he really liked me and it wasn't scary at all to hear that. He didn't try to make any other moves than kiss me and hold my hand on that night, it was so perfect! I told him about the other guys that had stood me up and he was mortified! I asked him to make me a promise, if he was ever done with me that he'd just be straight and tell me. He shook on it and agreed but said "I'll never be done with you!" *Swoon!* Third date was at his place, he cooked for me and it was delicious! By this time his foster dog is LOVING me, recognized my jeep and wanted to with me on a ride lol. I'm thinking to myself by date 4 that I was glad my gut instinct was right to hide my profile so I wouldn't be on the market anymore. By date 5 he was at my place and hold onto your seats campers...I actually cooked for him this time! Yup, my kitchen has now seen 3 meals in it total for the whole year, that's how much I liked this kid back! We were just so comfortable together, laughed and had great conversation, said he couldn't get enough of my kisses. I even told my parents about him which to tell you the truth, I stopped doing because guys were dropping like flies around me as they revealed their doucheness (hence the blog). At the end of date 7 we made plans to go out for date #8 that following Saturday night and it was a long 4 days to wait for both of us. We talked on the phone, texted all day long and I was so smitten with him that I thought I'd burst, Saturday wasn't coming fast enough. Friday night I knew he was with a buddy watching the game so I sent him a text that he should come over afterwards if he was up for it (it wasn't a bootie call, it was to watch a movie literally). No answer. Saturday comes, "Good morning, so you got plans for tonight? :) " knowing full well they were with me, no response. That's odd because he and his phone are literally never apart. I was going to suggest we stop by a housewarming party a friend was having before we headed out. Instead, I went alone to the party and even got hit on by one of the guests but I indicated that I was sorry, I was not available.

Sunday afternoon it has hit me, Chris isn't going to text me back, he isn't going to call me again and honestly I have no idea what the heck happened in the span of 4 days where all of a sudden, I'm no longer a thought for him. I go to his facebook page (he friend requested me and I ok'd it, again, I was so comfortable that I felt it was ok to share that part of my life with him). I see a post on his wall, Alisha ***** checked herself in at Casey Moore's bar on Saturday night and tagged Chris with her. Funny, that was the place that I had suggested Chris and I go to once the weather cooled down. I see that Sunday morning, she checked in at another location and tagged him with her.  Slap. In. The. Face. I called him right after that and of course, he didn't pick up. I left him a sweet voicemail "Hey, haven't heard from you in awhile, thought we were going to hang out again this weekend but I guess you're busy? Hmm...ok, hint taken. I wish you the best of luck". I wasn't mean, or vindictive just matter of fact like I was leaving a message for my brother. 

Monday night he decides to call me back, said he was sorry, he was just so busy with work all weekend he didn't have a chance to call me back until then. I told him I wasn't understanding why he was calling, did he need anything cause I knew he was with Alisha all weekend and how I'd found out. The jig was up and he knew using work as an excuse wasn't going to hold water. He felt bad, said he was sorry. Said he didn't intend it to happen but he met her after me and they had just clicked. Said he had a great time being with me, I was a really great girl, awesome girl, laid back and so fantastic. My reply "I guess I'm just not fantastic enough if you're choosing her instead". I told him he wasn't off the hook, I wasn't going to say it was ok and that I was so trusting in him, it was too bad I gave him all of my attention and in return only part of his. I made him promise to tell me that if this girl was so great that he better treat her right, he better not do to her what he did to me because that would be horrible to make her feel like I did all weekend. He broke his promise to tell me when he was done with me...maybe he can do better and keep his promise to be kinder to Alisha. Alisha..wherever you are out there, I hope he keeps his promise and I hope you really are as fantastic as he hopes you are too.

Moral of the story: at least I know I can still fall for a guy and be trusting enough to open my kitchen up and when he tosses me aside...I know I've still got my profile that I can unhide and get back in the ring. :) I guess that light headed feeling I had earlier...was probably not that dating high from finding a great guy...but dehydration?

*Name changed to protect the innocent even though the kindness isn't returned.

Chaz and Chester the Jester: A Tale of 2 Class Acts!

Submitted by hottie and guest blogger Ashley M. Thanks to her bravery!

When Ashley sent these to me to share with the class, my mouth literally fell to the floor! Listen, I know not all guys are horrible and full of nonsense but honestly these two are doing everything in their power to prove that they are less than desirable catches. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if you "caught" either of these two...lets just say theres no cream from the pharmacy that can cure you from it lol

Step right up and meet Chaz!

The first one was Chaz, a guy that I had wanted to go out with for awhile. He was finally single, so we went out, but he wanted to go to a dive bar. That should have been the first clue. He then proceeds to tell me that he and his friends go to strip clubs to spit on strippers. Yep! And you are right, there is no answer to that except "Anyway..." So then he gave me $5 and asked me to go get music on the jukebox. So I did. One of the songs I picked was "One" by U2. I LOVE that song. He then proceeded to yell, and I mean actually yell at me in public for picking the band U2 and that nobody likes U2.

Hopeful Girl's Commentary: Oh dear, really Chaz? Reeeeaaallly? I call a 10 yard penalty, holding on the play, offsides and ejection from the game to anyone who claims that nobody likes U2. Pretty sure they are a universally adored band in every country and language this planet has to offer. Now we all know why he was "finally single", the last girl chucked him for being Satan.

Our number one winner of the night? Chester the court Jester!

Chester is the guy I took to my cousin's wedding. My cousin had a wedding reception of 850, and out of all of those people, she remembers my date the most. There was a live Irish band there, but nobody was on the dance floor because we were eating except my date, he was alone on the dance floor dancing to Irish Jig music. My mom turned to me and told me I had to go get my date off the dance floor. He ate food off of stranger's plates and got cut off at the bar after 14 drinks.  Then he threw a bottle of liquor when they wouldn't serve him anymore. On the way home he serenaded me to "Margaritaville" which was nice but then as the song ended he opened the car door, of the moving car, and hawked a lougie out the door!! Since his behavior wasn't entirely crazy enough, he started to rub my head while the song dream weaver played. Confusion on his part because he didn't understand why I gave him a dirty look besides the fact that the hair do he just messed up cost me $75.

Hopeful Girl's Commentary: I wonder if Chester does more than just weddings...this guy is a gem! Imagine how much more fun your baby showers and christenings could be with him at your side! Or how magnificent your graduation or even funeral could be with a class act like him in attendance. Oh Dream Weaver! Or maybe its not a dream, but a nightmare. Yikes batman!

**Chaz and Chester are real people but their names have been kept private due to medical reasons. Just remember, theres no cream for these guys, just a quick run for the hills and maybe a check for $75 for the hair ;)

Introducing Marketing Guru Mr. July!

Have you met Mr. July? Oh let me tell you all about him! Mr. July, lets call him Gilbert*, a man of athletic achievements, soft heart and funny personality. Ladies and gents, this man has it all! Step right up and shake this man's hand! But wait, theres more! If you buy now there are bonus gifts, want to know more?

Gilbert is another online catch, his profile indicates he's in banking, he has a dog (confirmed by an attached photo), into camping, college greek, running (also confirmed by attached photo) and sushi. Hello? Mr. July is just what this girl has been looking for! I have to admit, what caught my eye first were his photos because what girl doesn't fall for a guy who loves dogs or cats? Lets me be honest ladies, we're suckers for the softies.  The proof he was a runner was his second photo, a svelte, lean man running with a strong stride due to his flexed muscles glistening bare chest in the sun, blonde hair flowing in the wind to show his speed. It was like Prefontaine meets drugstore romance novel! I was hooked! Great conversation back and forth about running, goofy stuff, we definitely hit it off.

My first date with Gilbert was supposed to be a local tavern for dinner after a 3 day weekend with my girls. A great build up all weekend was chatting with them about how hunky he was and I definitely got their approval after their review of his profile. No red flags so I figured, if 8 of us were in agreement, this one wasn't going to be a dud like the others. Sunday night I get to our location, I'm on the look out for a hot blond runner. Interestingly enough, thats not who showed up. 

Gilbert has apparently changed appearances since those photos he'd posted. The guy that showed was completely bald and I'd gauge roughly 60-70 lbs heavier. Talk about awkward, Gilbert approaches me and says hello and I didn't recognize him at all, thats how different he appeared! Of course, outer package doesn't indicate whats on the inside so I'm curious to see how the evening turns out. We sit down for dinner and I have to be honest, the cool and confident guy I'd been emailing and texting for 2 weeks prior was not the same guy in person. He was so nervous! Anyone that knows me can attest that I can carry a conversation with a brick wall and honestly Gilbert was making it harder and harder as the evening progressed. I pulled out all the tricks to help him relax, asking him about his family, tell me about your high school prom, how were his plans for moving to a new place going? 1.5 hours later I finally had to check my watch and say "Well I should probably head out, I still haven't unpacked from my trip". This was not a lie and thankfully my laziness comes in handy once in awhile.  I promised myself that a 2nd date was in order, he just wasn't the same guy he'd appeared to be on paper v. real life and I wanted to make sure if it was just nerves that he got another round, regardless of his apparent false advertising.

2 phone calls later that week and our conversations on the phone got even more awkward than our date. I had to call Uncle and just let this one go.

I think I've narrowed a seriously perplexing problem, for me its not meeting men thats my problem, its meeting men of quality...thats the problem. Just remember, although Mr. July may be over...the summer is not, theres more to come campers! Happy dating!

*changed name to protect the not so innocent

Jersey Shore meets the Ohio Fonz

Contributed by guest Blogger and fellow hottie, Ashley M. His name is Mike, he is 37 (keep this in mind as you read, makes it even more awkward)!  Enjoy!

We finalized plans to go out on Wednesday, July 27th.  He offered to come my way since I have a much longer drive to and from work.  Very nice of him to offer, you are correct.  As I do, I recommended we meet at 7:22.  He found the humor in the exact time, and said he may not be able to get there until 7:23, but he would try.  So at 7:15 that night, I get a message that he left AVON LAKE a couple of minutes ago and he won’t be there on time because he is stuck in traffic.

MY THOUGHT: “Well sure, traffic will make you late, but giving yourself about 7 minutes to get from AVON LAKE to STRONGSVILLE is the reason you are going to be late.” *Fact check: it takes roughly 30 minutes to drive this distance without traffic.

While I waited 15 minutes for a table at B Spot, I took my seat and sucked down two Pepsi with Grenadine.  Hey! There is Michael, and it’s only 7:56pm, only late by 34 minutes.  So the slight irritation begins, but that’s OK.

Then the waiter approaches...
Waiter: “What can I get you to drink?”
Mike: “Good to see you my man.  Thank you.”  (FIST BUMP – that caught the waiter off guard and initially the waiter just looked at Mike’s hand confused trying to figure out if Mike was trying to show him something.  Finally the waiter realizes what is going on and fist bumps him back.  While I giggle uncomfortable.)
Waiter: “Something to drink?”
Mike: “You pick. Give me a brewski of your choosing.”
Waiter: “I can’t really do that, in case you don’t like it.”
Mike: “Just bring me your favorite.”
Waiter: “Do you like dark beer or light?”
Mike: “Whatever is fine.”

MY THOUGHTS: “Order a FREAKING (replace with a different word) Beer.”

Waiter returns with drink.  Mike gives him another FREAKING fist bump.

Waiter: “What can I get you to eat?”
I order
Waiter: “And for you?”
Mike: “Whatever is fine.”
Waiter: “I’m sorry?”
Mike: “You pick.”
Waiter: “Well can I have a hint.  Do you want a burger?”
Mike: “Sure.”
Waiter: “How would you like it cooked?”
Mike: “You tell me.”
Waiter: “Will medium work?”
Mike: “Is that how you would eat it?”
Waiter: “Yes.”
Mike: “Then sure. Medium.”

When the check comes, Mike leaves a pile of money on the table and goes to the bathroom.

Waiter: "Can I take this for you?"
Me: “I’m actually not sure.”
Waiter: “Ok, I will come back.”

Mike returns from the bathroom

Me: “The waiter and I weren’t sure if that was ready to go or not.”
Mike: “Yep.”

Waiter comes
Waiter: “Can I take this for you?”
Mike: “Yep, take it all. Just take this money and go to Vegas. Go don’t pay them for our food.  Just take this money and go spend it on whatever you want.  Take it to Vegas, play some blackjack.  Double your money.  Then come back. Just go do your thing man.” FIST BUMP

At this point my face hurts from my uncomfortable giggling.

Waiter: "Do you need your receipt?"
Mike: "My what?"
Waiter: "Your receipt?"
The waiter points to the black receipt holder on the table
Mike picks it up and begins to hand it to him then takes it back.
Mike: "This?"
Waiter: "Yes. Your receipt is in there."
Mike: "My receipt."
Waiter: "Yes, do you need your receipt?"
Mike: "Nope."
Waiter: "OK then I will take that for you."
Mike: "You are taking my receipt?"
Waiter: "Do you want your receipt?"
Mike: "No."
Waiter: "Then yes, I am taking it."
Mike: "The whole thing."
Waiter: "Yes."


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Hopeful Girl's commentary: Is he drunk? Is he high? Did he think that receipts and the cash for meals just magically disappear by small leprechauns instead of the waiter that brought his food? Did he fist pump it out with Ashley that night instead of a kiss and hug in the parking lot? Is he going to invite the waiter on a weekend getaway to Vegas? Is he the new Jersey Shore's version of The Fonz? Theres just so many possibilities here! Thank you to Ashley for not only braving this awkward evening but taking the next step to admitting it happened. On behalf of all women out there who've been on a date with this guy's identical twin, we feel for you girl!!

One Ticket for the Rick Train Please?

Ok, ok, ok, I've been a slacker, I'll admit it. June and July were pretty much a wash for me as I geared up for my first 1/2 marathon post injury in Seattle, WA. An amazing run and no injuries! I even saw a few people I knew on the course which makes me realize that this running thing I've stumbled upon is a very cool community to belong in. Feeling good about my performance, I boarded a jet plane back to Phoenix, AZ and ran into a bit of trouble a few days later. Sure no injuries but I apparently got a blood clot from the airplane. Really Karma? Really? You just make me want to run even more now you nerd. Long story short, not much on the dating scene to report until now....

Tall, blonde and handsome *Rick introduced himself (online) and we began to chat back and forth. He seemed to be a great guy, single, employed, all his teeth, basically all requirements I have in terms of what I was looking for. Soon we set up our first date - drinks at a local watering hole and talked for almost 3 hours. It was pretty relaxed...maybe too relaxed? What I found out that evening was that he isn't single, recently separated from his wife. It doesn't stop there, his profile indicated employment as "engineer" but in reality he's a mechanic (ok I'll let that one slide). He also apparently went through gastric bypass surgery and even though some time had gone by he still wasn't used to being what was "normal" for his height/weight proportions because he mentioned it several times awkwardly. I'm no Marilyn Monroe but really, I figured he was nervous so moving on...The reason why he and his wife separated? She didn't like his weight loss. Seemed like a silly reason for ending a marriage but hey, what do I know? Blonde? Not exactly, bald, he was blonde back in the day. He used to run with a wild crowd, an opposite of his big brother's profession as police officer and he's got the tattoos to prove it but overall didn't lead me to believe that was still part of his life. He asked me that night how I thought the date was going, I replied "Pretty good, at least you showed up". Yeah I told him about a few of the times I'd gotten stood up. He apologized on behalf of every man on the planet. Very funny, relaxed, enjoyable guy to be around. For a very big "sharing" first date, it went pretty well. We continued to chat on the phone, via text and email after that.

2nd date came around, dinner at local restaurant where we made friends with the bartender probably because Rick goes there alot? Either way it was a good meal, great conversation and entertainment by the guy at the end of the bar who refused to take his sunglasses off inside. Weird!  He said when I got back from my 1/2 marathon he expected that I go with him to the new Cars movie that was getting released. Well shoot, if I have to? :) I agreed and I kinda felt like I might have found a keeper? Then the first red flag, apparently he didn't go home after our date but over to a friends house and he and the friend were detained until late into the night because the friend had a warrant out for his arrest. Ok, he did tell me he used to hang out with a rough crowd....

Even when I was in Seattle for my run, Rick would text and see how I was doing so it was nice to know that its not me, there really are great guys out there.  Then...more red flags....

I got a blood clot. And he was going out of town for the following weekend so we made plans to go out on our movie date on the 4th of July. About an hour after he got back into town that day he text me he was wiped out and could we reschedule? Sure, I'm feeling secure so I don't think anything of it. The entire week long we chat and email and text but I noticed he didn't bring up the movie date again. Odd. After 4 weeks of communicating every day, I get a random text message from him to check my email when I got into work. His email:

Good morning,
 So i dont know how this all should go down but i want to be honest with you, I have met someone that i have been spending some time with, i would not say we are dating but i dont know. I do plan on seeing her more and dont think its fair to you not to say something. I dont think I am jumping back into a relationship anytime soon.... I just wanted you to know so as not to leave you hanging. I do think your a great person and would like to stay friends and see what happens in the future. ~ Rick

The classic, "I think you're great but I found someone even greater and I choose her over you...but can we still be friends? If it doesn't work out with the girl at least you'll still be my back-up plan".  Better believe it when I tell you I wrote a very intelligent, well written response back that will make him think twice about kicking a girl to the curb via email or other written communication. He did try to stay friends with me afterwards but I decided if the girl he is with really is better, its not fair to her to let him keep me in his life, it was after all 2 dates and 4 weeks of talking every day...not really much put into it right? *insert sarcastic tone here lol*


*Rick is not his real name, again, protecting the not so innocent.

Beauty or the Beast?

What a year 2011 has been (May  is almost over?!) and an amazing coincidence has begun to form that oddly doesn't surprise me. In January I ran my first marathon! Its OK, you can be impressed lol  It was a challenge to get through the training and reach that finish line and I couldn't have done it alone. Additionally, the physical therapy I had to endure afterwards due to a torn tendon from that grand feat was a challenge that I didn't do alone either.  What dawned on me after some self reflection that my dating life and my running career this year has had similar if not parallel ups and downs.

 

For instance, gearing up for the marathon and subsequent upcoming 1/2 and full later this year there involves all kinds of preparation. Good nutrition, supportive shoes and jogging bra, running schedule (and sticking to it!), fantastic motivation and access to a hot tub. In the dating world the same pretty much applies...order "food" and not pick at a salad, cute shoes and supportive undergarments for the date, schedule and confirm in advance, motivate yourself to be brave for a first date and of course, access to a hot tub.

 

After how this year has panned out so far, romantically I am bankrupt or pretty much close to it. Not to take this new perspective for granted I decided to come up with a plan of action, a "running schedule" so to speak and decided that the next time a jerkalicious man decided to pull a fast one on me, I was going to be ready.  Cue Mr. John W. (his real name) with his debonair crooked smile, fantastic run-your-fingers-through-his-luscious-hair and clear blue eyes as a cherry on top. I will not tell a lie, I got hung up on his gorgeousness before getting to know him. It happens, I'm human, so what?

 

We exchanged some flirtatious emails back and forth that shaped my ideal of him to be of substance in addition to beauty so I thought it was time to take it to the next level. Dun-dun-dunnnnnnnnn! After calling him I got a strange voicemail greeting "Hi, You've reached Dave with Summit Marketing*. Please leave a message and I'll give you a call back. Thank you and have a good day".  I couldn't have misdialed, it was a cell number he'd been texting me from but hey, I'm human--I redialed. Same voicemail which tells me either he gave me an alias or I just caught a weirdo posing as his friend to get him dates and I'm being prescreened (I've seen it happen). John W. gives me a call back almost right away and we begin the awkward dance of first phone call talking. He explains the phone along with voicemail greeting is from a former boss/current friend from 15 years ago and he can't get a new message recorded with his name on it. Say what?! I did not just fall off the turnip truck? Sha-dy! When pressed (politely) he wasn't coming up with a better answer so I refocused him to why I was calling, to take him up on his offer for drinks after work later that week.  A few minutes of discussion it turns out that John W. works in the office building next to mine! What are the odds after 8 years working downtown I've never run into this kid? Hm....He offered his office location first so I know it wasn't a creepster/stalker situation. Drinks at the Arrogant Butcher were planned for 5:30pm 2 days later. Cut to day-of drinks:

 

11:21am Me: Hey there :) still on for tonight?

1:51pm   John W: Yup, see you at 5:30

2:46pm   Me: See you then

5:21pm   John W: I can't get out for at least an hour. Working on a proposal thar must be done tonight. (I think he meant "that" but who knows)

5:22pm   Me: Looks like you're going to be tied up tonight

5:32pm   John W: Yes, tomorrow night?

5:34pm   Me: Busy

 

And that my fabulous and wonderful pupils is a lesson in how you end the cycle of douche bags who think texting 9 minutes before a date to cancel on you is not a classy thing to do and will cost him any chance of a re-do. Harsh? A little but lets face it, in 2011 alone I have been stood up more in the past 5 months by various jerkalicious men than I have my entire life....and I went to and dated men from ASU so you do the math.  I had made my new dating "running schedule" to now include dumping the dead weight, ie if a man can't show any respect before the first date, what is he going to be like by the time a 3rd date comes around *cough if he's lucky*?  

 

Now I may have a running schedule that every Tuesday without fail I run 5 miles but sometimes it has be on a Monday or Wednesday--at least I make it happen. I can now add to my list, thanks to John W., my dating schedule no longer allows for rude behavior regardless of beauty and charm.  For as much as I have really disliked running over the years I have to give my enemy some kudos for also teaching me a valuable lesson. Well played running career, well played.

 

*Changed name of the company on the voicemail for protection, they can't help it if they hired a douche bag.