What a year 2011 has been (May is almost over?!) and an amazing coincidence has begun to form that oddly doesn't surprise me. In January I ran my first marathon! Its OK, you can be impressed lol It was a challenge to get through the training and reach that finish line and I couldn't have done it alone. Additionally, the physical therapy I had to endure afterwards due to a torn tendon from that grand feat was a challenge that I didn't do alone either. What dawned on me after some self reflection that my dating life and my running career this year has had similar if not parallel ups and downs.
For instance, gearing up for the marathon and subsequent upcoming 1/2 and full later this year there involves all kinds of preparation. Good nutrition, supportive shoes and jogging bra, running schedule (and sticking to it!), fantastic motivation and access to a hot tub. In the dating world the same pretty much applies...order "food" and not pick at a salad, cute shoes and supportive undergarments for the date, schedule and confirm in advance, motivate yourself to be brave for a first date and of course, access to a hot tub.
After how this year has panned out so far, romantically I am bankrupt or pretty much close to it. Not to take this new perspective for granted I decided to come up with a plan of action, a "running schedule" so to speak and decided that the next time a jerkalicious man decided to pull a fast one on me, I was going to be ready. Cue Mr. John W. (his real name) with his debonair crooked smile, fantastic run-your-fingers-through-his-luscious-hair and clear blue eyes as a cherry on top. I will not tell a lie, I got hung up on his gorgeousness before getting to know him. It happens, I'm human, so what?
We exchanged some flirtatious emails back and forth that shaped my ideal of him to be of substance in addition to beauty so I thought it was time to take it to the next level. Dun-dun-dunnnnnnnnn! After calling him I got a strange voicemail greeting "Hi, You've reached Dave with Summit Marketing*. Please leave a message and I'll give you a call back. Thank you and have a good day". I couldn't have misdialed, it was a cell number he'd been texting me from but hey, I'm human--I redialed. Same voicemail which tells me either he gave me an alias or I just caught a weirdo posing as his friend to get him dates and I'm being prescreened (I've seen it happen). John W. gives me a call back almost right away and we begin the awkward dance of first phone call talking. He explains the phone along with voicemail greeting is from a former boss/current friend from 15 years ago and he can't get a new message recorded with his name on it. Say what?! I did not just fall off the turnip truck? Sha-dy! When pressed (politely) he wasn't coming up with a better answer so I refocused him to why I was calling, to take him up on his offer for drinks after work later that week. A few minutes of discussion it turns out that John W. works in the office building next to mine! What are the odds after 8 years working downtown I've never run into this kid? Hm....He offered his office location first so I know it wasn't a creepster/stalker situation. Drinks at the Arrogant Butcher were planned for 5:30pm 2 days later. Cut to day-of drinks:
11:21am Me: Hey there :) still on for tonight?
1:51pm John W: Yup, see you at 5:30
2:46pm Me: See you then
5:21pm John W: I can't get out for at least an hour. Working on a proposal thar must be done tonight. (I think he meant "that" but who knows)
5:22pm Me: Looks like you're going to be tied up tonight
5:32pm John W: Yes, tomorrow night?
5:34pm Me: Busy
And that my fabulous and wonderful pupils is a lesson in how you end the cycle of douche bags who think texting 9 minutes before a date to cancel on you is not a classy thing to do and will cost him any chance of a re-do. Harsh? A little but lets face it, in 2011 alone I have been stood up more in the past 5 months by various jerkalicious men than I have my entire life....and I went to and dated men from ASU so you do the math. I had made my new dating "running schedule" to now include dumping the dead weight, ie if a man can't show any respect before the first date, what is he going to be like by the time a 3rd date comes around *cough if he's lucky*?
Now I may have a running schedule that every Tuesday without fail I run 5 miles but sometimes it has be on a Monday or Wednesday--at least I make it happen. I can now add to my list, thanks to John W., my dating schedule no longer allows for rude behavior regardless of beauty and charm. For as much as I have really disliked running over the years I have to give my enemy some kudos for also teaching me a valuable lesson. Well played running career, well played.
*Changed name of the company on the voicemail for protection, they can't help it if they hired a douche bag.
