It happens, sometimes you cruise through these dating websites and many people are on more than just one to increase their odds of finding true love...so sometimes its likely you see the same people over and over again. Maybe you chat with one guy on dating website #1 and forget and start up a chat with him a few months later on website #2 because you remember seeing him but maybe the conversation died out or one of you lost interest or just plain forgot. While reintroducing yourself...maybe the same conversation repeats itself too. Its to be expected right?
How about when you're on a hot streak and you're carrying on conversations with more than one person? Yeah yeah yeah, don't judge...you all know if you've been out there dating that at times theres more than one you're trying on for size, either chatting or having dinner with, whatever floats your boat. I'm not very good at juggling multitudes of men and honestly I try to only talk to one at a time so they are getting 100% of my attention. I figure its only fair right? So when I see the tail-tell signs that theres a guy who is juggling, their behavior is pretty true to the following: asking the same questions over and over, forgetting we discussed a topic that's pretty unique and re-initiating it, take a really long time to answer a simple question either via text or chat, or if they are talking to you and asks a question that is clearly on your profile you gotta wonder "did he just look at my pictures and not read the content?" I got one for ya...Meet Ray.
Ray initiated a chat and it started out pretty simple, apparently he's quite athletic, hails from the Midwest in a small town and we begin with the normal how-do-you-do's. After a few days I noticed he kept firing questions at me like we were in an interview or he was getting these questions off of some "topic/discussion" list. Whats your favorite food? Whats your favorite movie? If you could have one thing in the world what would it be? On and on and on. Of course these questions did the trick, we would have conversations from each question but then it became a little weird because the conversation about my favorite food crept up again. If you know me...its vodka tonic which yes technically is not a food item but if it comes with a lime doesn't that count? So when he asked me yet again, what my favorite food was and I thought my answer was pretty unique to warrant that it'd stick in his mind. Nope.
Then he asked me what kind of clothes I like to wear...more and more random questions so a flag is starting to come up here. Great, another guy who is creepster and compiling some kind of file on me and my likes and dislikes. Great, just great. So I told him a very vague "I dress for the weather, its Arizona". A few days later, asks me the exact same question again and I decide to call him on it.
Me: "You must be talking to quite a few girls because you asked me that already."
Ray: "I used to play football back in high school and college and I got hit in the head alot, sorry".
OK I feel like a jerk but at the same time it does clear up why I keep having the same conversations with the guy and why, before moving to Arizona, was living with his parents still. He needs supervision and something tells me he went onto a dating website to find a local replacement to what he had back home. A very smart move on his part but at the same time, really? I don't want to be a caregiver, I want to date someone and hopefully have a 50/50 relationship. I would have to worry about him getting from place to place, interacting with others, etc. Too stressful in my opinion. I feel bad for the guy but its just not the right way to go about finding your other half. So I try to turn the conversation around, jerk that I am...
Ray: "John Carroll"
Me: "Where is that?"
Me: "Sorry, what I meant to ask was where is it located geographically?"
another exchange:
Ray: "So whats your ethnicity?"
Me: "Sorry? What do you mean?"
Ray: "What do you look like?"
Me: "Pretty sure the photos on my profile are a good indication. Did you have a chance to look at them?" **Side note, I know you can't look at someone and say they are a certain ethnicity or background but I'm pretty sure I'd never be mistaken for any other group other than Caucasian.
My suggestion is if you get a bad feeling like the person you're talking to isn't remembering alot of what you're saying call them out on it. Either they are juggling too many other potential mates that they can't keep you straight from the rest of the pack or they might have a head injury. Either way, don't dance around it cause it'll get awkward real fast if you do and theres no turning back.
*Ray's real name was changed to protect his own identity although I'm not sure he'd realize it was him I was writing about if he stumbled across this blog.
