Submitted by hottie and guest blogger Ashley M. Thanks to her bravery!
When Ashley sent these to me to share with the class, my mouth literally fell to the floor! Listen, I know not all guys are horrible and full of nonsense but honestly these two are doing everything in their power to prove that they are less than desirable catches. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if you "caught" either of these two...lets just say theres no cream from the pharmacy that can cure you from it lol
Step right up and meet Chaz!
The first one was Chaz, a guy that I had wanted to go out with for awhile. He was finally single, so we went out, but he wanted to go to a dive bar. That should have been the first clue. He then proceeds to tell me that he and his friends go to strip clubs to spit on strippers. Yep! And you are right, there is no answer to that except "Anyway..." So then he gave me $5 and asked me to go get music on the jukebox. So I did. One of the songs I picked was "One" by U2. I LOVE that song. He then proceeded to yell, and I mean actually yell at me in public for picking the band U2 and that nobody likes U2.
Hopeful Girl's Commentary: Oh dear, really Chaz? Reeeeaaallly? I call a 10 yard penalty, holding on the play, offsides and ejection from the game to anyone who claims that nobody likes U2. Pretty sure they are a universally adored band in every country and language this planet has to offer. Now we all know why he was "finally single", the last girl chucked him for being Satan.
Our number one winner of the night? Chester the court Jester!
Chester is the guy I took to my cousin's wedding. My cousin had a wedding reception of 850, and out of all of those people, she remembers my date the most. There was a live Irish band there, but nobody was on the dance floor because we were eating except my date, he was alone on the dance floor dancing to Irish Jig music. My mom turned to me and told me I had to go get my date off the dance floor. He ate food off of stranger's plates and got cut off at the bar after 14 drinks. Then he threw a bottle of liquor when they wouldn't serve him anymore. On the way home he serenaded me to "Margaritaville" which was nice but then as the song ended he opened the car door, of the moving car, and hawked a lougie out the door!! Since his behavior wasn't entirely crazy enough, he started to rub my head while the song dream weaver played. Confusion on his part because he didn't understand why I gave him a dirty look besides the fact that the hair do he just messed up cost me $75.
Hopeful Girl's Commentary: I wonder if Chester does more than just weddings...this guy is a gem! Imagine how much more fun your baby showers and christenings could be with him at your side! Or how magnificent your graduation or even funeral could be with a class act like him in attendance. Oh Dream Weaver! Or maybe its not a dream, but a nightmare. Yikes batman!
**Chaz and Chester are real people but their names have been kept private due to medical reasons. Just remember, theres no cream for these guys, just a quick run for the hills and maybe a check for $75 for the hair ;)
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